Phantom Love
by Raine Yuy
Summary: After five years, Heero runs into Relena. Some things have changed.


disclaimer: *sigh* the day i own gundam wing is the day wufei would stand up and say, "girl power!" get the point?   
  
note: i can't seem to ever come up with a happy ending. hehe. too bad.  
xoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxo  
There was a time when she would have given anything to hear soft words come from him. A time when all she longed for was the chance to be held and comforted in his arms. A time when tears would have choked her half to death by the indifference in the prussian orbs. But such times were long gone. Faded along with the memory of such humiliating emotions. Faded along with the recollection of shameful ignorance. She was a woman now. No longer the reckless girl who stubbornly refused to let go of an emotionless boy. That girl had been burried with the rest of the history of old wars and defeated soldiers. And now stood a woman whose eyes held only the last traces of innocence. For innocence had no place in the world of solitary angels who were born to stand outside of humanity. To watch. To protect. To be adored. To envy. And before her stood a different kind of servant of god. This angel was made of stone and not of soft feathers and white robes. But he too stood just outside of humanity. Cold hard eyes looking in behind the glass. To observe. To protect. To be sacrificed. And so the two figures faced eachother. One weary. And one hard.   
  
"It's been a while." The voice was soft. Deceivingly fragile.  
"So it has." And in contrast, the reply was curt. Hard. Impatient.  
"How are you Heero?" She made the question seem sincere. Almost caressing.  
  
Heero studied her profile from the shoulder length honey blonde hair to the high-heeled shoes she wore. She had cut her long hair. It used to float around her like soft wings. And she was much taller. It made her seem even more formidable as a figure of power and wealth. But all these he noticed with only a passing interest. The change that made him frown was the look in her eyes. Hardened but at the same time...they were the old Relena's eyes. Generous, expressive, and almost innocent. She was certainly more beautiful. Her face belonged to that of an untoucheable goddess. One who trully ruled peace. Relena...  
  
"I'm fine Relena."   
  
Relena quickly assessed Heero's transformation from a boy into a man. Not much had changed. Taller. More muscular. More sharply dressed. The eyes. It made her falter to see those eyes again although she made sure not to show it outwardly. Those indifferent eyes. For years it had haunted her through her nights alone when she was not exhausted enough to shut down her brain automatically. Eyes that spoke of silences and nothing else. Eyes that had taken her through more hell than even the god of death could have ever completely discovered. Eyes that even now told her nothing of how he felt. Heero...  
  
His fists clenched and unclenched at his sides at the silence that followed. Whatever happened to the girl who never ran out of words? He almost missed her. "You seem to be doing ok."   
  
"I have," her hand shook slightly. She wanted to run. She wanted to hide. And this only made her stance more rigid. The girl she had burried so long ago was ressurecting herself through Relena's weakness. "I barely think about you these days." And the dead girl fully came back alive with those words spoken before the woman was able to think.   
  
Unfamiliar stab of pain like shards of broken diamonds slammed into his gut and made him almost winced in pain. But even after all the years of peace, control won over the need to express his emotions. "I see. And i suppose you're happy now?" He had the sudden urge to drive his fist against something solid. Preferably something almost impossible to break.  
  
"Of course," her reply took on the note of desperation. And she was happy. After all, she no longer craved for the untoucheable. No longer tortured herself with hopeless longings. No longer loved a boy who had nothing to offer her but regret. "And you Heero? Are you happy?" Without me.  
  
How was he to reply? Were former soldiers suppose to know what happiness was? "As close to happiness as a former soldier can get i suppose."  
  
"I see," Relena could feel the tension inbetween the silences. How could there have been silence when she wanted to say so much? But she supposed that some things were too much for any words to carry. "And what have you been up to these days Heero?"   
  
"I've been working," he replied with equal politeness, wondering what she would say if he told her the truth that for the past five years, he had been only trying to find himself. To find if the former soldier can actually live in a world where weapons were enemies and not allies. To find out if he had it in him to stay where happiness welcomes him in with no questions asked about his past. He had been trying to figure out how to fit himself into a world that no longer needed his kind. And what would she say if he told her of his discovery? That he finally accepted he could have a place in the world as long as it was right beside her. "And you Relena?"   
  
She swallowed the lump that had formed inside her throat and struggled to speak with little emotion. And how was she to tell him of what had transpired in her life during the past five years? But then again, it probably wouldn't make a difference. Since when did Heero care about anything? "I suppose you've heard about my decision to resign from the political world?"  
  
Heero nodded in confirmation that indeed he had heard of it. Even from the isolated places he had hidden himself, the news was still able to reach him. He had questions but none he wished to voice. A soft lock of blonde hair had escaped behind her ear to dance before her face. He had the sweetest urge to touch it. To bring her closer to his arms where he longed to keep her. Relena...  
  
Something flashed into his eyes that she desperately wanted to understand. Something akin to a human emotion. But it was too quickly veiled for her to fully comprehend. She studied her shoes as if they were of the most interesting object. She took a deep breath and started to lift her eyes to the man standing before her when she felt gentle fingers graze her cheek. Startled, her eyes met prussian blues that held that elusive emotion once again. She placed her own hand atop his own, holding it to her cheek while trying with all her strength to cage the tears that were locked behind tightly closed lids. How long had she dreamed of standing before him and have him finally surrender to her? Such a long time that it almost seemed forever.   
  
Heero revered at the simple happiness of touching her. Of being near her presence. For so long he had dreamed of this. Of finally being able to simply surrender to what fate had already marked for him even from the beginning. He felt something cold and wet spatter down his hand. The hand that still held her delicate face. Frowning, Heero lifted her chin up and studied her profile. Her eyes were closed tightly in an expression of pure anguish. Slightly trembling, he wiped a tear that had only formed and had yet to fall from her cheek. She held his hand in both of hers and hugged it to her. He wondered what reasons lay behind the tears. Happiness? No. She was trembling.   
  
"Relena!"  
  
A voice behind Heero called out in an urgent tone of voice. Suddenly, reality returned and the fog that had seemed to envelope their figures cleared. They were standing outside a busy marketplace surrounded by people who gave them curious glances. A man wearing sunglasses and carrying a child in his arms hurried to where Heero and Relena were standing. Curious, Heero retrieved his hand and stood beside Relena.   
  
"Relena...are you alright? We've been wondering where you wandered off to." The man with the sunglasses held out his hand for Relena. The little girl in his arms lunged herself recklesslessly into her arms instead. Relena caught her and smiled. The child hugged her with all her might and then stared curiously at the man standing beside the woman who held her.   
  
"Mumm...mumma..." the child cooed in her own language, and proceeded to grab a handful of Relena's hair to play with.  
  
The child...Heero dazedly acknowledge, looked to be almost a replica of Relena. The man with the sunglasses standing beside the child and Relena took off his shades to reveal sharp green eyes. The same exact color as that of the child's. Suddenly, recognition hit Heero with a force that left him reeling. "Trowa?"  
  
"It's been a while Heero..." The tall man nodded in recognition. He revealed nothing with his eyes but the arm he draped around Relena spoke for itself.  
  
It couldn't be. It couldn't be. But Heero was to lose the battle against reality.  
  
"Heero...meet my daughter Rhea. And i believe you are already acquianted with my husband," Relena transfered her daughter into her father's arms once again and turned back to the rigid form that stood before her. With a courage she never thought she had, she held out a hand to Heero. "It was nice seeing you again Heero. I'm glad to at least know you're doing fine."   
  
With no alternative, Heero took her hand and gave it a brief handshake. His eyes traveled back to his former comrade. "Congratulations. For you and Relena."  
  
Trowa shook his hand and nodded briskly. He ignored the tremble in the former gundam pilot's hand. He ignored the pain that shadowed his eyes. He ignored everything but the fact that Heero had turned away and was walking into the crowd. He turned to his wife who stood trembling like a leaf beside him and staring after Heero's figure. Again, he held out a hand. She looked up and gave him a shaky smile and linked his hand with her own in a firm grip.   
  
"Let's head home darling," she whispered in an intimate tone. Relena stared into green eyes and smiled. The little girl she had been was gone long ago. Stood before this man with the gentle grip on her hand was a woman who had a future and a family. A place to come home to. With finality, she bid goodbye to the girl who still persisted on ruling her emotions. And with finality, she bid goodbye to the boy lost in the crowed that the dead girl had loved with undying passion. And will love well beyond her grave. So the man who held a child in his arms and a woman who held a smile on her face walked away without a backward glance. "Home..." 


End file.
